I was diagnosed with EOD in 2009 and having been in medical education I now teach about Dementia. My book 'Dementia from the inside a Doctors personal journey of Hope’ explains the principles. My short weekly ‘blog’ gloriousopportunity.org gives simple changes that can make so much difference.
I often get asked to do talks and give advice on ‘dealing’ with people living with dementia in a particular setting. I always insist on explaining the reasons behind the advice because once people know the principles they can apply them in any situation.
I have three principles:
There’s always a reason for anything that someone living with dementia does or says.
Feelings remain when the facts are forgotten - after any situation it is the feelings that are remembered.
Familiar patterns continue. For example when distressed we resort to childhood patterns such as how we behaved when we couldn’t cope with life. Young children can cry, shout, hide, throw things, which just means they are not coping with life and just need to feel accepted, loved and cared for.
It is also important to give people value and purpose.
So when someone gets distressed what do we do when we do not know the reason? Using a familiar pattern from the past would help but usually only siblings know these!
Any instructions that one has been told for dealing with a crisis is often forgotten in a crisis so I suggest … just use one of the five senses.
Hearing. Is everything too loud? Does it need to be quietened? Music often calms and, of course, the tone of voice being used by those helping makes a great difference.
Vision enables us to see what is going on. Do others appear happy? Are the surroundings cheerful? Perhaps turn on the TV and smile!
Smell can bring back happy memories. Think of newly baked bread and fresh coffee…
Taste. When children get upset they might be given something to eat or drink. As we can resort to childhood patterns this might help and also distract us from whatever is upsetting us (A cup of tea always sorts me out!)
Touch can be very comforting…if appropriate, or stroking a pet or soft blanket.
This is a story to illustrate these principles.
I was once called to ‘sort out’ a lady who was ‘kicking off’ (!) I did not know her name or what had caused the upset. (I never found out although there must have been a reason.)
When I arrived she was surrounded by people standing over her, shouting, telling her to be quiet. So I sent them all away and knelt down in front of her. She was so surprised she stopped shouting and waving her arms around and looked down at me! I smiled up at her…( everyone else had glared at her.) She then gave me a little smile. I said “What a lovely smile you have!” she smiled even more.
Once I was sure she was ‘on my side’ I took her hand saying “Thank you. You’ve made my day” (problem was solved!) She sat the next hour or so as if she was royalty ..and all was well.
I was asked what I had said to ‘shut her up’ “Nothing. I just made her feel she had value and purpose.”
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